Dolore
by Anonymous-Sky27
Summary: Tsunayoshi Sawada had only, always, had the love from his mother, but ignored or hurt by those around him. Eventually, he hit his breaking point. But just maybe, he'll be able to heal with the help of his mother, and a few new faces in his new college. Or he might just succumb to his destructive behaviors. Warning: Self harm, suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, language
1. Chapter 1: Realtà

Tsunayoshi Sawada, better known as just Tsuna, never had a fulfilling childhood. He was always being bullied by peers of his age, ignored by those who never joined in the teasing, and outright belittled by adults around him. But he always managed to have a gentle smile on his face, even to those who hurt him. After all, he couldn't make his mommy sad. She always got sad when Tsuna was feeling glum. So he smiled for her, to keep her well and happy. (Though, even his smiles didn't help her when his stupid papa forgot to call his mommy on her birthday, or when he never came home after promising his mama that he would.) Sadly, that changed once he entered middle school. Yes, his beautiful crush, Kyoko, was in his class, as well as the popular Takeshi, but that did little to alleviate the pain Nezu-sensei caused. He would almost always single out Tsuna, well knowing that he did not have the correct answer. A student can only learn if his teacher is willing to help, and none of Tsuna's teacher were willing to aid a "lazy" and "loser who will go nowhere in life" student.

Or so he thought.

Turns out, he could become even more pathetic than he believed. And the cause? Kyoko Sasagawa called him _Dame-Tsuna_ for the first time, in his pitiful survival.

He had trusted her. He trusted her to not become like the _assholes_ in the school. She had never once called him anything degrading, and instead always made small talk with him, helped him when he got injured, and stopped as many bullies as she could. He believed in her. And yet, she had the _audacity_ to go and ruin what little faith he had at school. What little faith he had in _life_.

Fucking bull.

He couldn't remember how he managed to finish his school day before he broke down into a sobbing mess, in the safety of his room.

(What had he done to deserve this?)

Zombielike, Tsuna slowly made his way to his desk and got out a key that he always carried in his book bag. (He couldn't risk his mother finding out what was in it, so he always kept it locked.) When the drawer opened, it revealed two box cutters, a notepad, and one pill bottle. (He always had a way out, but he knew he wouldn't do anything, for his mother's sake. Or so he thought.) Without much contemplation, Tsuna grabbed a box cutter and took out about an inch and a half of the blade, before quickly slicing it across his wrist. Almost as quickly, blood began to pour out of his wrist, but, thankfully, it wasn't too heavy and caused Tsuna to be entranced by the blood coming from a wound that was inflicted by himself. He just wanted to escape. However, he began to feel pain soon enough, causing him to snap out of his endorphin induced trance. Internally screaming, he recovered the wound with an old shirt and ran to the bathroom. And after waiting a couple of (panic induced) minutes, the bleeding stopped. He quickly, but carefully, cleaned up the wound with water and antiseptics, before grabbing some first aid equipment that he had. Since the wound opened quiet large, but not really deep, Tsuna decided to first use some butterfly bandages, then put on a couple layers of gauze strips, before finally wrapping his entire wrist in gauze. He then proceeded to clean up the "scene of the crime" properly, and put everything back in its place. (He would not subject his mother into witnessing that.)

After the whole ordeal that felt as though it had dragged on forever, when reality it was only about 10 minutes, he quietly walked back into his room, hiding his bloodied shirt just in case his mom walked by. Locking his door behind him, Tsuna quickly put the soiled garment in a plastic bag, tied it up and hid it under his bed. (His mother never cleaned under his bed anyways.) Letting out a sigh of relief, Tsuna changed to a long sleeve shirt, to hide what he'd done, and loose pajama bottoms. He sat in silence for a while, before quietly giggling to himself. Because, of course, only he would try to get rid of his being, before promptly freaking out and do his best to reverse the process.

Silent tears cascaded down his face once he realized how pitiable he truly was.

Pathetic.

He truly lived up to the name of Dame-Tsuna.

The following couple of months carried on in the same manner (With the difference of now ignoring Kyoko, with some headphones he got for his birthday.) of him coming home and crying his eyes out, prior to slashing at his skin. Although, he began to do it on his thighs instead of his arms. (Summer was right around the corner after all, and he did not want his mother to become suspicious of him wearing only long sleeves. It seemed she was already thrown a bit back by him suddenly wearing bracelets on his left arm.) Tsuna did then as barley scratches but there were a multitude of them, so his legs looked quite terrible. He found out he enjoyed that sensation better than the deep one on his wrists. Tsuna also realized that by doing this, he had at least one little piece of control in his life.

One thing that he could make him feel both punished and alleviated.

He gave an empty laugh at the irony of it.

Years had passed and now he was a senior in high school, just shy of graduating. But sadly, he still had the habit of slicing his skin open. It lessened over the years, as he tried to stop multiple times, but he always continued the habit. And sadly, he had been "clean" for about 3 months before he had a crash of emotions (It's what he gets, really, for holding it all in for too long. Once a Dame, always a Dame.) and reverted back into the circle of hell. He hasn't had a single "clean" day since.

He gave a weary sigh, pushing away all the colleges that he _had_ to choose from. (Honestly, why did he even have to try? No school was going to accept him.) But of course, he was only doing this to make his mama proud. He didn't exactly care what school he should go to, just as long as it was close to school and had cooking as a major. (It was the only thing he was good at. Bless his mama, for having patience with him and teaching him all of her tricks and recipes. Though, it was ironic how he barley ate anything himself, only when his mother begged him to eat. He never truly felt hungry, and when he did he tended to ignore it.)

Pathetic.

He did not, obviously, get better over the years. His eyes looked dull, with dark bags under them and he was constantly tired all the time. He, in addition, stopped talking completely, only speaking, rarely, to his mama from time to time. (Usually, on his good days. Which were rare.) He would also, when not in school, wear bracelets on his arms to cover up what he had done (He gave up, and started on his arms after two years of only attacking his legs.), and while in school he would wear long, school appropriate, long sleeves. Tsuna also allowed his hair to grow out, slightly, so the front would cover his eyes, and the back cascaded down just past his shoulder, but usually kept it in a pony tail and on his left shoulder. Yet, somehow, the rest of his hair still stayed fluffy and semi-spiky. Though, that didn't matter, as he usually did not take proper care of himself (What was the point?) and his hair was constantly greasy and limp. The only reason why he had a clean room and clean clothes was because of his mama. (How much more of a burden could he be?)

Tsuna shook his head, to try to get rid of the thoughts. (He had to stop slipping into dark territory. He didn't want to damage himself twice in one day.) He decided to change to his pajamas and just go to bed, too tired to deal with the world around him. He gave a little noise of approval. (Yes, sleep sounded divine.)


	2. Chapter 2: Ferito

He woke up the next morning, exhausted as usual, about an hour before school. He sighed, already dreading waking up. It was the last day of the school year, which meant graduation day, which meant walking in front of the whole graduating class and making of fool of himself.

He sighed, again.

 _Is there any way to_ not _freaking go?_ He thought to himself.

Pondering over it for a good half hour, he came to the conclusion of faking illness. (His mama wouldn't want him to over exhaust himself and would want him to stay home from school, even on graduation day.) So he, quietly, began to do some pushups, sit ups, and running in place to get sweaty and look feverish. In the middle of this, he softly made his way down stairs and warmed up a cup of water, then grabbing a thermometer holding it against the cup, on the outside. After getting the thermometer to a good 101.7 degrees, he walked to his mamas' room, in a sluggish manner since he knew his mama would be walking up around that time.

 _C'mon acting skills_ , he though bitterly, opening the door. _I didn't take theater for nothing_.

After putting on an amazing show, in his opinion, Tsuna was almost let off the hook, but sadly his mama was used to his little tricks and found him out quickly. (He did not miss the pained look in her eyes, though.) Sulking, he dressed himself before making his way towards Namimori High School for the last time.

"It'll be fine," he muttered to himself. "You'll go to school, get your diploma and get your ass back home. Home is safe, remember? You'll be fine. Stop being so scared, Tsuna. You'll. Be. _Fine._ "

He almost managed to believe the lie.

Entering the school, he quickly made his way over to the gym, where the ceremony would be taking place later that day. He tried his best to ignore the looks of disgust and scowls directed towards him and, instead, distracted himself by biting his nails. (Though, there was nothing left to bite anymore.) But it didn't work too well, and his heart kept getting heavier with each whisper and look he would catch. (Dammit, he should be used to this. Why does it still hurt so much?) He tried to calm himself down, tried to ignore it all, but with each second passing by he became more and more distraught. The last straw was when someone from his class managed to push him into a trashcan, making all those inside the gym burst into raging laughter. (The first one to laugh had, of course been Kyoko and his tormentor.) He felt his cheeks bloom into a blush, and he hastily managed to collect himself, but the damage had been done. His hands began to shake, and he felt his eyes begin to water as well. He knew he only had a couple of minutes, if that, to get away before he broke down. (He's so weak. So stupid to think he could fake it until after graduation. Useless idiot.)

He waited for those around him to be distracted, before rushing off to the boy's bathroom. He kept his head down, in fear of someone seeing his tear filled eyes, even as he locked himself into a stall. He tried to calm his breathing, but all that came out were broken sobs. And before long, he was full blown bawling his heart out. (He should have stayed home. Should have fucking stayed home.)

"Stop crying," he chocked out. "Stop crying you piece of shit. Stop being so pathetic. You don't want them to see you cry. So stop crying, stop crying, stop cryin– "

He couldn't finish his sentence, his sobbing cut off all vocal noises. Who knows how long he was crying uncontrollably until he cried himself out, too tired to continue. He sat on the toilet in silence, listening to the faint hum of the ceremony going on without him.

It wouldn't be the only thing others would do without him.

It would seem that he had, at last, hit his breaking point.

Pitiable.

Limply, Tsuna got up and began to make his trek back home, skillfully avoiding people, especially Hibari. (He still guarded his precious town.) He inaudibly slipped into his house, even though he knew his mama wasn't home. (Most likely at work.) He gently closed his room door, before sliding down onto the floor, silently.

Now, Tsuna had been contemplating life for years, even before he had first scarred his skin, but never acting upon it. (Unless he counted the first time, though that was just a futile attempt.) He did, however, think of different ways to end his existence, ranging from hanging, slicing his skin, pills, and jumping. But he was always scared, either of his mama being left alone or him thinking that he maybe had some sort of future ahead of himself. But as the years went by, he started to not believe in a future for himself at all. The days were dull, and the only spec of happiness he acquired was when he and his mama cooked together, talked, and just relaxed in each other's company. But that became less and less, as his mother got a job to support them both, since his father stopped sending any money to them. And now, he only every saw her before he went to school. Occasionally, on the weekends. But that was it. Due to that, he scarcely enjoyed cooking anymore, but still had a spark of hope that he could get a career in it. (He had to do something in this life, no?)

But right now, at this moment, he felt absolutely no optimism for the future. It was clear to him that he wasn't strong enough for the reality of this world. He was too weak, too stupid, too dame. He couldn't study to save his life, he couldn't make at least one friend in school, and he couldn't even make small talk to a clerk at stores. He can't do anything. He's pathetic and useless and a complete failure. He can't even get a stupid measly job anywhere he applied to, because the whole town knows how much of a waste of time he is. _And_ he's basically leeching off of his mother, and it's going to be worse when he has to pay the god damn fees for school. Hell, maybe that's why his dad stopped sending him and his mama money, because he knew how much of a loser he was. His father probably found out that he was a good for nothing son that would never amount to anything in life, and his poor mama had to suffer due of him.

What kind of son does that? What kind of a son is such a fuck up?

To keep himself from crying out in anguish, he bite his hand, muffling the sound. Lifelessly, he crawled to his desk, opening the drawer that hid all of his secrets once again with his key. With unsteady hands, he reached into the drawer and pulled out a box cutter, still unused. Perfect for him, at the moment. He mused over the half empty bottle of pills inside, but decided against it. There were too little of them anyways, so it was pointless really. He stood up, listlessly, putting the box cutter on his desk while he searched for a piece of paper and pen. He, without thinking, wrote something small for his mama. (She had to know that he was sorry. She had to know that he loved her. But she also had to understand that there was nothing for him in this shitty world. He was just a burden. She would be better off without him. But he would miss her, dearly. He only had one person who actually he actually cared for him after all.) After writing it, he realized how shaky his handwriting appeared, but overlooked it. It didn't matter anyways.

He gently folded the piece of paper and placed it on his pillow, then changed into his pajamas but with his favorite shirt. (It was a painting of a sky, as the sun was setting.) Grabbing the box cutter, he sat crossed legged on his bed. He felt empty and so cold. His heart hurt so much, yet no tears dared to fall down. But it was okay, it would go away soon. He put on his headphones, putting on his favorite classical piece, and gave a bitter smile to the thought of the end. He took out, just like the first time he did it, about an inch and a half of the blade and proceeded, without much thought, to reopen his old wound on his left wrist. And same as the first time, it began to ooze out blood almost as quickly as he sliced himself. He did the same to his other wrist, though not as deep. (Damn, should have been ambidextrous.) And just to be on the "safe" side, he decided to do a few more slits, smaller, on his left arm, feeling relieved at the sight of the blood not stopping. After he was done, he set the blade down next to him.

He gave out a breathe of relief.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the music taking him out of reality. A while passed before he began to feel drowsy and began going in and out of consciousness. He looked at the clock, and saw his mama wasn't' going to be home for a couple of hours. He then got a bit sad thinking about how his mama would feel, seeing his body lifelessly; however, his need to escape reality overpowered the thought of how his mama would feel.

Ah. He was really, really sleepy.

He closed his eyes, and knew no more.

* * *

How unfortunate, for Tsuna, that he fell unconscious before his front door was rudely opened by none other than the demon of Namimori himself, holding Tsuna's diploma in his hand.

"I'll bite that stupid herbivore to death," Hibari hissed.

Oh, how blissfully unaware of what he was bound to find behind locked doors.


	3. Chapter 3: Verità

Hibari Kyoya was quite a ruthless and violent man who craved fighting and power, but he had mellowed out since his earlier years. And now that he was a more calm and fair, he was more respected than fear, and not only in Namimori. Police forces, and yakuza, were constantly trying to recruit Hibari into their elite forces, even willing to give him the position of chief, but he always refused them, simply stating:

"Namimori needs me."

It didn't come as much shock to the residents in town.

And so, he became the official protector of Namimori once he graduated; deciding not to go to college in favor of taking care of what he claimed was his. However, this caused him to be extremely involved in school affairs, making sure students weren't skipping class (Unless they had a valid excuse, of course. Hibari may be ruthless, but he isn't heartless.). His system went well, managing to drag back delinquent students and shaping them into proper young adults. Until, Sawada Tsunayoshi managed to sneak under his nose and skip school.

On bloody **_graduation day_** **.**

Oh, Hibari was absolutely **furious**.

There was more than one reason, though. He, obviously, was furious at the fact that Sawada had the audacity to ditch school, on graduation day, without picking up his diploma. The other reason was that he could hear other students making fun of the absent student, laughing at crude jokes thrown at him. Now, Hibari was aware of the bullying, any decent human being would, and would try to lessen it as much as he could. He would even bite Sawada less painfully as the bullies. Though, it seemed even he couldn't fully prevent the bullying from happening. (If someone were to ask Hibari's right hand, Testsuya, he would just smile and say the person who Hibari was actually angry at was at himself, for not being able to protect a student of Namimori.)

He bit the students to death immediately after the graduation was over. Hibari, still seething with anger, grabbed Sawada's diploma and briskly made his way towards Sawada's house. All the way, Hibari was mumbling to himself on stupid herbivores until he made it to the Sawada resident's house. He knocked three times and patiently waited for someone to open the door. When no one did, after waiting exactly five minutes, Hibari opened the door (Surprisingly, unlocked.) and growled when he saw no one in his presence.

"I'll bite that stupid herbivore to death," he hissed. He quickly checked if anyone was on the first floor before making his way upstairs with light, but deadly steps. Oh, how he was going to slaughter the boy. Hibari saw that only one door had a little tuna fish hanging in the front of it and automatically assumed it was Sawada's (He, indeed, did guess right. But was it for better or worse?) and tried to open it.

And failed to do so.

He took a deep breath, to try and calm his violent nature.

"Sawada," he barked. "Open the door. Now."

No reply. He tried again, this time also knocking.

He snarled, "Tsunayoshi! Open up!"

He was met with silence, once again.

He growled.

His patience was shattered, causing him to kick down the door in frustration and pent up anger. After all, he could just pay someone to replace the door. Satisfied, he entered the dim room ready to yell at Sawada for his absence on the last day of –

Ah.

He was not expecting a deathly looking Sawada, curled up on a bed, looking as though he were sleeping. Though, the blood soaked in the sheet proved otherwise. Now, Hibari had seen blood in his years from fighting, broken bones, and limbs angled in a way that should not be angled, ever. But Hibari had never seen so much blood surrounding a single person (A person who looked as though **_he_** was death himself, by how pale he was.). And it seemed as though Sawada had self inflicted the wounds to himself…

Hibari had never reacted faster in his life.

He practically ripped off the Namimori school uniform (Funny enough, it's the only thing he uses really. Even though he graduated.) from his body and placed it over Tsunayoshi's left wrist, as it was the one that was bleeding more and seemed as though the cut had been made deeper. While putting pressure of that wrist, he quickly checked for any signs of a pulse, and luckily found one. Weak, but there. In a swift motion, Hibari pulled out his cell phone, calling an ambulance at once. He put the phone on speaker, so while he was telling the operator where he was currently located at, he could put pressure on Tsunayoshi's right wrist with a sweater he found on Tsunayoshi's floor.

While he waited, Hibari quietly talked to Tsunayoshi, trying to rouse him from his unconscious state, in hopes of making him cling to Hibari's words and not allow him to slip more into death's clutches.

Hibari would make sure Tsunayoshi **_lived_**.

Hibari would **_not_** let death take someone under **_his_** protection.

"C'mon Tsunayoshi," Hibari snarled, trying not to look at the boy's blood seeping through the garments he had placed over Tsunayoshi's wrists. It seemed that though the clothing had slowed the bleeding, it had not fully stopped it. Tsunayoshi also began sweat underneath him, and his skin was starting to become paler than when he first arrived at the house. Hibari could hear Tsunayoshi's breathing becoming more ragged and shallow, as well as his lips and fingernails becoming a soft pale blue. Hibari realized that Tsunayoshi had symptoms of that of being in shock and cursed. He let go of Tsunayoshi's wrists, though it pained him, and quickly got a blanket that was on the bed and placed it on Tsunayoshi. Almost as quickly, he grabbed his wrists and put pressure once more. Hopefully, the warmth would help Tsunayoshi survive until the paramedics arrived.

"I won't let you die, herbivore," he seethed.

Not more than a few moments later, Hibari heard the sirens and people rushing up the steps. Once they were inside the room, Hibari stepped back and allowed the professionals to do their work and saw how quickly they were trying to stabilize Sawada. However, before he could ask on his condition, they rushed him into the ambulance. Without much though, Hibari jumped in the same ambulance as Sawada. He would make sure the herbivores in the ambulance would do their job correctly, and save Tsunayoshi.

"Sir," one of the paramedics began, "I'm sorry, but you can't jus-"

Hibari's famous glare of death shut the paramedic up, forcing him to work on helping Tsunayoshi before he dared argue back.

Hibari stared at Tsunayoshi's lifeless looking form, as the paramedics were desperately trying to stop the bleeding and still trying to stabilize him as much as they could. And almost at the hospital, they managed to do so. However, Tsunayoshi still desperately needed a blood transfusion as soon as possible. And as soon as the ambulance had made a complete stop, the paramedics (And Hibari.) rushed towards the emergency room.

Sadly, Hibari was not allowed into the operation room, no matter how hard he tried (More like threatened.) the nurses and doctors. Eventually, he gave up and sat down in the waiting room. Though, he was still agitated from the whole ordeal and decided to walk outside. After cooling down a bit, he decided it was best to call Tetsuya to call and tell Tsunayoshi's mother and tell her what transpired. He isn't one to be sympathetic when saying things after all.

Tetsuya picked up after the first ring.

 _"_ _Hibari-san?"_

"Call Mrs. Sawada. Tsunayoshi Sawada is at Namimori hospital."

 _"_ _What!? What happened!? Wait… Are you alright, Hibari-san?"_

"Hn. Fine."

(Though, Tetsuya could notice Hibari was actually concerned and shaken up. He wasn't his right hand man for nothing.)

 _"…_ _What happened?"_

Hibari gave a small, grim smile. (Though, it looked more like a grimace.)

"He tried to kill himself. Bring a cleaning team to his house when you can."

He hung up the phone immediately after, before quietly making his way back to the emergency waiting room.

On the outside, Hibari looked collected and calm, even with his hands and clothes being covered in crusted, dried blood. But internally, Hibari was beating himself up for never once noticing the scars or cuts of self harm throughout the years. (The scars and cuts seemed to range from really old to recently new. And of course he saw them. The white, thin lines of old self harm. How could he miss them, even though they were covered in blood? Did he have more hiding behind the clothing he wore?) Or the tired, done look on his face every time Hibari saw him. (Always looking as though he never had enough sleep. Or maybe he never had enough to eat. Is that why he looked so thin? So frail? Did his small family not have enough to be fed constantly? Or did he purposely starve himself? Purge?)

Hibari bit the inside of his lip, feeling despair creeping though his body. (Though on the outside was his emotionless self, he did have emotions. He was human after all. People would often forget that.)

"Shit," Hibari growled quietly.

What kind of protector of Namimori was he if he couldn't save someone from themselves?

* * *

"Hello? Sawada Nana?"

"…"

"Hello, my name is Kusakabe Tetsuya. I, um, am calling to inform you about you son, Sawada Tsunayo –"

".. No, ma'am, he's not in trouble with the school. But he –"

"… No, he is not drug dealing anything. Mrs. Sawada –"

"Mrs. Sawada! … Sorry, thank you. Now, back on topic. Mrs. Sawada… I'm, um, sorry to inform you that your son has been admitted to Namimori Hospital."

"…"

"No, I am regretful to say that I am not entirely sure of his condition. But I have a feeling it's not… uh, ideal, since Hibari-san advised me to notify you."

"…"

"I … I'm sorry to say, Mrs. Sawada, but your son attempted to commit suicide."

"…"

"Yes, of course. I will have a car at your work in two minutes to escort you. I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you."

 _Click._

* * *

 **Sorry for the errors, but hopefully I've pinpointed them all and corrected them. Sorry if you believed that this was an update. It'll come soon though, I promise. I hope you enjoy. (･ิω･ิ)**


	4. Chapter 4: Madre

Sawada Nana was a hard working individual, though dense at times, but she knew that she could do little to nothing for her baby boy, as she had tried before to argue with school officials about her son's bullying. Which only resulted him in getting more physically abused. She did not dare breathe another word about his bullying, in fear of causing more harm. Instead, she did her best to work enough hours to be able to pay for the house bills, clothing, food, and hopefully for her Tsu-kun's college. However, this limited the actual time she spent with her beloved child, and often times she would only see him in the morning for brief moments and maybe on the weekends, if she was lucky. But working two jobs was hard, especially since Nana was still used trying to get used to it. Before, she just had to be a housewife, not needing to lift a finger if she truly didn't want to. (the house was always tidy anyways. missing a few days of cleaning never hurt) Unfortunately, that changed when her husband told her that he would not be able to send any more money to her or Tsu-chan. Shocked, she had asked why, but the only thing that was heard was Iemitsu choking back a sob and a quiet:

"I'm sorry…"

That was the last she had ever heard of him.

(she had never felt more hurt in her entire life)

Now, Nana was dense. (she will admit it) But even she could see something was wrong with her Tsu-chan as he entered Namimori High. His smiles became less and less, he became more withdrawn and always covered himself with sweaters or long-sleeved shirts, and he seemed to get thinner every time she saw him. (she had so many signs how was she not able to notice how much pain her son was in) Due to the bullying, Nana just assumed her son was trying to hide his bruises from her, and never pressured him or anything. (why why why did she not say crap) So, at first, she said nothing, in fear that her child would completely cut her off. But after a few weeks of the same behavior, she gave in and asked him what was troubling him. Her Tsu-kun looked at her in surprise (and was that fear?) before just smiling at her and shrugging it off; making her believe that it was just part of adolescent mood swings. (her Tsu-kun was about to be fourteen years old, and had barley hit puberty if his height said anything. her Tsu-kun went from a 5'2" to a 5'5" in just a couple of months) This carried on for a while, and his eating habits became erratic. Either eating quite a bit, or too little. But Nana ignored it, but did try to regulate his eating. And she admits, it did get better once her Tsu-kun begged her to learn how to cook, which she delightfully did. And in just a matter of months, her child was on par with her own cooking skills. (Oh, how proud she was! Her Tsu-kun was even going to major in cooking!)

Though, on days her Tsu-kun would seem sadder than usual, she would do her best to leave him a home cooked meal or a little note to cheer him up. (later she would find out that her small deeds would often prevent her son from harming himself) And in Tsu-kun's last year of high school, Nana took it upon herself to work more hours to be able to pay for the college that her son wanted to go into; thus, her time with her son was almost nonexistent. She, however, did not mind the fact so long as she was able to help her son get into the school that he wanted and make him happy. (how mistaken she was. her son would rather spend time with her than go to college) So she worked. And worked. And worked. Because she knew he hated school, but was always proud of him for doing his best. However, she was a little sad. Her baby boy was already towering over her, with a height of 5'7", perfect in cooking, baking, and cleaning, and was soon to start college. (she didn't want to admit it, but she didn't want him to leave the house, and prayed every night that he would pick a school nearby and stay with her. she didn't want her relation with her child to become as nonexistent as her husband)

Nana shook her head, and lightly tapped her face. She felt her eyes sting a bit, but quickly wiped the tears away. (no use thinking of something that hasn't happened)

"Agh," she mumbled to herself. "Nana, you are at work. Get yourself together. Your baby will still be your baby even if he moves."

She let out a breathe, and was about to head back to shift –

Until she got a call from a strange number.

Confused, Nana tentatively answered.

"Yes..?"

(she had to admit that she was crushed when it wasn't Iemitsu)

"… !"

(wasn't Kusakabe Tetsuya the second in command in her child's school?)

"Is Tsu-kun in trouble?"

Oh no.

"Has he become a drug dealer!? I mean, I'm not always there for him, and not always at home so it would be easy for him to bring drugs and – oh my lord! My Tsu-kun is – "

He cut off her rambling.

"Sorry! Oh yes, now how may I help you?"

Hearing the news, Nana's blood ran cold.

"… What? What do you mean he's in the hospital!? Is he okay!?"

"…"

"Tetsuya… What happened to my baby boy?"

Her heart dropped.

"S-suicide…? Oh my god – I – I need to go to him! Please, I don't have a car, bu –I need to get to him! Please help me get to my baby!"

"…"

 _Click._

"Thank you," she whispered, even though the phone had already hung up. Immediately after, Nana told her manager that she had an emergency and she wasn't sure when she would be able to work again. Her manager quickly let her go, seeing how distraught she was and wished her the best. She wished she was acting, but Nana had never felt so horrid. She physically felt ill and she could not stop herself from shaking.

She swiftly left her workplace, and, as promised, a car was already there waiting for her. She quickly went in, said hello to the driver and pleaded with him to drive as fast as he could. (he did as told, thankfully. they arrived in less than three minutes, despite the hospital being ten or so minutes away)

She had never felt more relieved, yet distraught, when she was pulled up to the hospital.

* * *

Nana's first impression of Hibari Kyoya was: Interesting. She saw Hibari arguing with a doctor demanding her son's condition and threatening the doctor to let him see her child. It was peculiar to her, for a few moments at least, to see that the Demon of Namimori was an acquaintance (friend?) of Tsu-Kun. She pouted. She was going to ground her Tsu-Kun for never telling her that he had such a good friend who would actually threaten a doctor just to see him in the hospital –

She started bawling once she recalled why she was there.

The fighting immediately stopped, and Hibari stalked up to her, as well as the doctor.

"Sawada Nana?" they both questioned, and then immediately glared at each other. But Hibari backed down (most likely because he was uncomfortable by Nana's tears), and allowed the doctor to take over. The doctor gave a small, smug smile before clearing his throat.

He asked, "Are you Sawada Nana?"

Nana nodded, too hysterical to properly speak.

"Okay. Then, Miss Sawada, your son has just been stabilized, but is still very fragile at the moment.. He lost a lot of blood and had just begun to show symptoms of shock, but thankfully this," he glanced at Hibari, "… nice man helped keep your child from being in extreme critical condition. So, unfortunately, you won't be able to see him until a few more hours. I'm sorry to tell you that, but it's for the best. Do you understand?"

Nana nodded, keeping back sobs. (because losing blood could only mean that her son has purposely sliced himself in an attempt to escape this world)

(Hibari himself was listening intently. Still feeling agitated and worried. He silently thanked his mother for her bitch face being passed onto him, and not his father's. The man could be read like a book.)

The doctor nodded. "Okay. I will be back to update you if anything happens, or when you are allowed to see him. In the meantime, please do your best to calm down, okay? You wouldn't want your son to see you like this, right? I know this sounds cruel, but he needs a strong figure in his life right now."

"Okay…" Nana managed to croak out.

The doctor excused himself, and went along with his work. A silence fell over Hibari and Nana for a few minutes, until Hibari awkwardly escorted Nana to sit down. (He is a gentleman after all.) It took a good hour, multiple tissues, and two teas (Hibari's. Nana had one coffee. Or, tried to.) before Nana managed to recollect herself. After that, Nana and Hibari talked in mild chit-chat (even though it was just Nana doing most of the talking. and it mostly, if not all, being about her baby boy) (Hibari didn't particularly care about conversation, but it seemed to calm Sawada down. And he even started to understand what kind of a person Tsunayoshi Sawada was. Good research.) Time passed in a blur, and it was already late afternoon before the doctor came out again.

Both Hibari and Nana stood up, awaiting the news.

The doctor gave a small smiled. "Please, follow me."

They all walked in silence to her Tsu-Kun's room. The doctor was speaking but Nana wasn't paying attention. She was terrified to see the state her child would be in once they arrived. (Hibari heard everything. He kept making mental notes, and was prepared to what he was about to encounter. He was the person to find Tsunayoshi half dead.)

They arrived, and the doctor excused himself again, giving Hibari a pointed look, silently asking him to keep Nana sane at least. Hibari glared, but understood.

Hesitantly, Nana opened the door –

And immediately gasped in horror.

She saw. She saw the angry, and scarred (so scarred) marks on his arms (and oh dear god, why did they look old and recent and – the new ones. they were the only ones covered in thick gauze. but the other cuts? scratches? accidents? no, there's too many to be accidents. too closely together. too straight) were so noticeable on his pale skin. The red contrasting the white, as though they wanted to be noticed, yet, at the same time mocking her in their jagged glory. (because, for Christ's sake, why did she not notice? how did she not notice!?) His skin was oh so painfully marked from months (years? weeks? no, it had to have been years. there's too many. too old. too scarred). And God, did that strike a painful and horrifying cord for her. Her son had already hit his point of breaking, and had already begun self destructing, if the multitude of cuts on his body had anything to say about that. (and, lord, how she prayed that him being so skinny as to see his ribs sticking out was just because he was not eating as much as he should, and not because of any eating disorder)

"I'm so sorry, Tsu-kun… I'm so sorry…" She whispered, but made a vow to herself.

She would not let her son deteriorate like this

* * *

Hibari, on the other hand, went immediately to the clipboard pertaining to Tsunayoshi's well being. Most people would have left by now, just glad that they were able to bring a person back from the clutches of death; however, this was Hibari. Because Tsunayoshi was part of the town he protected, Hibari felt as though he was responsible for his well being.

And it seems he was not doing a good job.

(Hibari clenched his teeth together in agitation.)

He scanned the paper on the clipboard, his eyes narrowing once he realized the paper read:

· _Self harm (that is visible) lacerations on arms, thighs, and hips (range from years ago, exact years unknown, to just recently)_

· _Underweight. H: 5ft 7in W: 105lbs_

· _BMI: 16.4 (eating disorder?)_

· _Possibly depressed, anorexic/bulimic, others to be determined_

· _Psychological State: To be determined_

· _To be put on 24 hour suicide watch awoken (next actions to be determined)_

Hibari let out a low growl. He was disgusted, not at Tsunayoshi, but at himself. How could he have allowed this to happen? To someone under his protection? To an innocent of this world? How did he not realize what was going on? He should have realized. He should have noticed, ever since he saw the dead look in Tsunayoshi's eyes. How could he have failed? (Hibari was absolutely disgusted with himself. He texted Tetsuya, telling him to punish the bullies of Tsunayoshi and of other's in school. The damage was already done, and there was no going back. But he would do all in his power to prevent something so horrendous to occur again. This time, Tsunayoshi was saved. But who knows how dreadful the demons in his mind are.)

Would he be able to right his wrongs?

Hibari wasn't sure, but he as hell would try.

* * *

They stayed in silence for the rest of the night.


End file.
